The Ladies Lifestyle

If you read my post titled, Weight Wellness: My Body, My Way, My Wellness, then you know I am embarking on dropping some weight. So, why do I call it Weight Wellness and not weight loss? We live in a society where everyone has an opinion about those of us whom are bigger than a size 6. The diets, the eating trends, the fitness world, Bloggers, and Vloggers; everyone has a point of view of on weight, food, and weight loss. One of the most amazing things about humans is our diversity, there are no duplicates. We differ in everything from eating to ethnicity, so then there can't be a one size fits all way of living well. Our bodies are different, we live in different climates, we live in different socioeconomic situations, and different cultures. Our belief systems and how we view and/or relate to food is as unique as our fingerprints. There are so many voices speaking to us about health and weight and none of them are saying the same thing. The contradictions and competition in th...

My belief in the sacredness of the bonds of sisterhood among females is no secret. We all know that I believe quality friendships make life so rich. As a woman who has friendships that span over 3 decades, I feel I am versed enough on the subject to help women build cords of friendship that will enrich and empower their lives. I have concluded that one of the main reasons why females have so much trouble in making and/or maintaining friendships is because they have not befriended themselves. The one person that you are guaranteed to be with for the rest of your life is YOU. So, if you don't enjoy being with yourself, how can you expect another woman to enjoy being with you? Everything in your life begins and ends with you . Most of us, go into friendships with an unrealistic and selfish perception. People don't look at others and think, "what can I do to make her life better?' It's human nature to be self driven and self focused, that is why we teach our childre...

Wouldn't it be grand if I could tell you that I came to Minimalism by some angelic visitation from a celestial being? The truth is, minimalism became apart of my life because I am genetically wired to be a hoarder. I am a make addict, one day I was looking through my collection for a specific lipstick and discovered that I had 96 tubes of lipstick, I was alarmed. Yes, my lipsticks and make up was organized by color or brand but let's be honest, I was hoarding make up. A fear fire was ignited and I began going through my collection and giving things away. As I was purging my make up, I asked myself why I had so much over and over again; I had no real answer. There is no need to have 96 tubes of lipstick, especially when I had so many of the same shade. I was just collecting things because it felt good to have stuff, but why? What was the make up doing for me? What void was it filling? Why did I need it so much? Once I felt I had cleared the clutter of my vanity table, I turned...

294 LBS I have been thick, fat, Plus Size, or whatever you want to call it all of my life. Weight has never truly been an issue for me because being on the bigger side is what I have always been, it is my normal. As a young girl, I had the body of a woman, puberty was a physical explosion for me, I was stacked, baby! I've always had breasts, hips, thighs, and butt; I don't know life any other way and honestly I don't desire to know a different way. However, as I age and genetic illnesses like Heart Disease, High Blood Pressure, and Diabetes become more of a reality, I have to reconsider my stance of weight and weight loss. My rule of thumb for managing my weight has always been, stay away from 300 lbs. At my highest weight, after a knee injury I reached 300 lbs and I was mortified. I dropped the weight and vowed to never ever get back to that weight again, a girl has to have boundaries. Well here we are and I am close to crossing my personal boundary. I was weighed at...

I didn't like how the format looked on my original of this blog post, so I am releasing it again. I linked my blog to Bloglovin and it changed my layout, I don't like that, lol. You've picked your outfit, your hair is slayed, your nails are popping, and your shoe game is sickening; you are ready to show up to these holiday events in style and then you get slammed by a flare up. If you have Endometriosis, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Gastroparesis, Lupus, or any other chronic illness you know how unpredictable life can be. So, then the question is how do you navigate the holidays when sickness invades? I wish I could tell you that I had an easy fix for this situation but the truth is, there is no one definitive way to live with illness, everyone will employ different coping techniques and methods, our strategies are as unique as we are as individuals. No need to be disappointed, I have a few tips that may help you get through the holidays even if you are not feeli...

Follow my blog with Bloglovin You've picked your outfit, your hair is slayed, your nails are popping, and your shoe game is sickening; you are ready to show up to these holiday events in style and then you get slammed by a flare up. If you have Endometriosis, Chronic Pelvic Pain, Fibromyalgia, Gastroparesis, Lupus, or any other chronic illness you know how unpredictable life can be. So, then the question is how do you navigate the holidays when sickness invades? I wish I could tell you that I had an easy fix for this situation but the truth is, there is no one definitive way to live with illness, everyone will employ different coping techniques and methods, our strategies are as unique as we are as individuals. No need to be disappointed, I have a few tips that may help you get through the holidays even if you are not feeling your best. Tips & Hacks: Be kind to you When you live with chronic illness, being down and feeling useless will creep in quickly, especially ...

Me sitting in my Christmas Car 1976/77 For many, the holidays are an exciting time full of preparations and parties. They are looking forward to family and friends coming in  from near and far to gather together in the spirit of fun and festivities. Then there are those whom want nothing to do with holidays. For these people, the spirit of comfort and joy has been swallowed up by anxiety and depression. While the average person is making lists and planning menus, the not so average are worried about engaging with family members, panicking about the number of people that will be present, the demeanor of the people they will interact with, and how to handle awkward situations that are inevitable in every family gathering.  Speaking from a personal experience, holidays are a definite struggle for me and actually always has been, especially Christmas. I hated Christmas until my daughter was born, I was 17 years old. Every Christmas of my life, as far back as I can remember...

Even in the rain, she shines In keeping with the belief that everybody needs somebody, I encouraged my daughter to do a photo shoot. A year ago, she became a mom and it has been an extraordinary evolution to witness. As most new moms will tell you, she found herself consumed with being a mom and losing her individuality.  Brittany is an amazing Natural Hair-care Specialist and Cosmetologist, between working, managing life, attempting to build a business, and taking care of Khloe, I saw her slowly disappearing.  Brittany struggles to see her own greatness and she needed a reintroduction to herself. A singer, performer who has graced the stage of The Fox Theater several times, and hairstylist; she is not limited on talent. I have had the pleasure of watching her perform in several hair shows and as her mother I am hypnotized every time. When she steps on stage, a transformation takes place and she becomes this majestic being of movement and creative expression, she nails h...

What would life be without those things that feed our souls? As women, we are so busy, there's always something or someone that needs our attention. For me, life had become so overwhelming with death, loss, confusion, fear, hurt, and grief; it seemed like those that I loved the most were dying suddenly and rapidly. My days were spent obsessively thinking and worrying; I was sinking. My Life Coach instructed me to implement an abundance of self care. Because I have never been high on my own list of priorities, I was so ignorant and quiet uncomfortable with the idea of doing something solely for self.  In the beginning, I felt like she was torturing me. I am a perfectionist and if I can't do it precisely, I don't want any part of it; hmm, sounds like fear to me.  I fumbled and stumbled my way through learning about self care with her there as my guide, I cried a whole lot, she let me cry a whole lot, and then she pushed me onward. Through her persistent instruction and my wil...

Back in July, I had a dream about my sister that triggered a major emotional shift, grief and anxiety did a serious tag team number on me. To calm all that I was feeling, I turned to snacks. You know those foods that we find comforting.  I noticed a pattern, despite food and I having a very interesting relationship, I found that in those anxious moments I turned to foods that fed that part of me that needed reassurance and calming; this is Emotional Eating. Because junk food is just processed calorie laden foods that serve no true nutritional value, I felt absolutely horrible after eating those delicious Cheetos and Snickers. As I drank tons of water to flush that pollution out of me, I vowed I would never do it again, in that moment I meant it, I was sincere in my stance of never polluting my body, until...... Emotions are signals, like an on board navigation system, they help us move through the world and interact with others. They tell us when something is good for us and they...

Since my sudden return, you may have noticed that I changed the name of the blog, here is why and what you can expect.  The PHLOW was born out of my brand, Periods Should (K)not Be Painful. As I searched for blogs or magazines for women like me who live with Endometriosis and it's complications, I found very few options. Yes, there is a lot of information out there that explains what Endometriosis is with all it's technical jargon. What was missing was the reality of life with Endometriosis. What needs to be shown is how women with Endometriosis manage career, family, relationships, etc. What needs to be revealed is women who are overcoming Endometriosis and being trailblazers for other women who are struggling to find their footing.  From there, I was compelled to create something for women who are dealing with any Reproductive Disorders or illness and to cultivate a space for the whole woman whether she be ill or not.   PHLOW is an informativ...

Friendships, I believe are the cornerstone of our social existence. I wholeheartedly believe that everybody needs somebody.   However, I realize that friendships, especially between women can sometimes be a struggle. Women are emotional creatures by design and that is not something to be ashamed of, it is our power. Unfortunately, many of us have not been taught how to manage this power; so we end up in power struggles with ourselves and with our friends. I see so many gal pal relationships implode because of ego, hurt feelings, miscommunication, betrayal, gossip, and other girl stuff. I am one of the fortunate ones in that I have had long lasting friendships that span decades. Please understand, that doesn't mean we haven't had our issues, it means that I learned to value my relationships enough to work through the mess. Recently, 91 days today to be exact, I loss one of my best friends and it devastated my whole life. To be talking to her one minute and getting a...