The Ladies Lifestyle

Until I was 21 years old, my mom battled Alcohol Addiction. Mama was what I call I a High Functioning Alcoholic. She went to work everyday, took excellent care of me, maintained a household, and wasn't drunk all the time. Honestly, I don't think drinking became a problem for her nor I until I was about 15 years old, until then, she was more of a social and weekend drinker. I believe I have always been aware of liquor and it's effects on people, I grew up in an environment of individuals who struggled with addiction in one form or another. Thankfully, my grandmother was my buffer, she stood in between me and addiction, she was my protection, and my teacher. I remember her telling me, "you see them{speaking of my family members}, this is what liquor does to you. It is in us to be drunks, don't you ever play with it." I don't remember how old I was when she had this talk with me but I know I was very young, maybe 10; I still hear those words. The ONLY reason ...

We have been taught that because we love a person, we have to be present. Today, as I was showering, I had an epiphany; love won't always equal being present. Do you have a family relationship or friendship that always has you on edge? Are you always worried about another situation bubbling up and becoming a disaster? When you are around them are you anxious? If you answered yes to any of these questions, allow me to help you. You don't have to have an intimate relationship with a person who causes you to feel uneasy. "I've learned that it is not what I have in my life but who I have in my life that counts."~Unknown Most women are nurturing by nature, when we love we love. However, love without balance and boundaries is quiet unhealthy, taxing both mentally and emotionally. I can't speak for others but I am guilty of allowing both family and friends who cause me trepidation to have more access to me than necessary. I have given more chances than I should...

I have a nostalgic personality, if it causes those feel good goose bumps, I will bask in the memory as often as I can. My grandmother was an amazing woman for so many reasons, especially her cooking skills. She would spend her entire day in the kitchen, from sun up to sun down, she was either in the kitchen, in her garden, or sitting on her swing on the porch. Food was a love language in our house and my grandma spoke the language eloquently. She didn't measure and she couldn't tell you how many ounces are in a cup but she could cook like no other. Because of her challenging relationship with her own mother, she wanted to make sure that her children always knew that they were wanted and loved.  One of the ways that she nurtured, educated, and loved on us was with food, most of the life lessons she taught me took place in the kitchen. My grandma's kitchen was a classroom, a boardroom, a prayer room, and much more; whatever you needed could be found in her kitchen at that tab...

She was born on a July morning into an orchestrated but messily calculated parental partnership between 3 adults. Two of them loved her more than anything, but the other one just wanted to be attached to the primary party in the business arrangement; to him, she was merely an accessory, a means to an end. Her beginning was crafted in complications and secrecy, setting the course of her life's journey on a path that would at times be confusing, fear filled, anger infused, overwhelming, and abusive. Different has never been different to her, it was the personification of her anxieties, she has never actually fit in anywhere. Either she was too young, too old, too this or too that; she was just too much her. Like all children, she grew up and the more she grew the more her situation and entanglements grew, the lies got bigger, the secret got deeper, and the partnership began to implode.  Funny thing about secrets, they don't stay hidden. There is no need to chronologically recal...