If there is any advantage to living with an invisible illness, it is the invisible aspect. While this element often comes with more challenges than benefits, there are still a few benefits. However, with an Invisible Illness like PCOS, there are a few outward signs that will give an indication that something is going on in a woman's body. All of my Reproductive Life, I have had issues. From the very young age of 11 to this present day, my period continues to be a daily challenge for me. On the other hand, it was my period or should I say the disappearance of my period that told me something abnormal was going on in my body. It would take years and several doctors before I was diagnosed with PCOS.
Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome(PCOS) is a hormonal disorder of the Endocrine System in women. Woman with PCOS suffer with internal issues like ovarian cysts, infertility, irregular periods, and so much more. Unlike diseases like Endometriosis, Adenomyosis, Menorrhagia, etc; PCOS does have a few "tells."
Image really is EV...ER...Y....THING, to women. We take pride in how we look and how we present ourselves to the world. Our looks play a major role in our careers, relationships, and self esteem. It has been proven that when we look good, we feel good and when we feel good we are more productive. If how we look was not important to us, cosmetic companies, hair distributors, and the fashion industry would collapse. With PCOS protecting and preserving our looks becomes a much more urgent task. Some of the physically visible symptoms of PCOS are: Weight gain(we will discuss this in another post), Hirsutism(excessive hair on face and body), thinning hair, and dark patches on skin. Unfortunately, I am no stranger to these PCOS related issues. I understand the blow that a woman's femininity takes when she has hair growing in places that are not normal for women, I know the embarrassment of having dark spots appearing on your face and neck and the painstaking effort put into hiding them. I know the utter humiliation and despair that comes when your hair begins to thin, break off, and stop growing. I completely understand the dip that a woman's self esteem takes when she has to deal with the effects of PCOS.
For many years, I hid my shame, I cried at night, and kept my fears to myself; I am excellent at hiding. I didn't tell anyone how horrible I felt about me. Turtle necks and scarves became my best friends.
Because I didn't tell anyone how I felt, I suffered in sadness, depression, and isolation. I put myself in a jail. There was no one there to build me up, there was no one there to reassure me of my beauty, there was no one there to tell me that I am more than my flaws.
I was sick because the secret that I was keeping was making me sick. One day, I don't know how nor do I know when, I remembered EVERYTHING that my grandma taught me about loving myself and loving who I am regardless of looks. Somehow, I found my self-esteem again and I began to stand up. The more I stood up the stronger I became and one day, I bumped into liberation. I had to accept that I had this illness and that because of it, I had some flaws.
I reminded myself that these flaws don't define me, they are simply an artistic part of my story. These flaws give color, visibility, and meaning to my struggle. Do I want them, HELL NO but they are here and I can't change that, Please understand, it took me years, I mean well into my late 20s to get to this place, because I hid my "shame." While I still have my days of frustration with the skin and hair issues, those days don't hold me hostage anymore, because
I firmly believe that on my worst day, I am all that and so much more. Honey, I am that girl! It is nice to hear compliments, we all want our ego stroked now and again, but I am the majority on how I feel about me. This is the lesson that I want to teach through this PCOS edition of Periods Should Knot Be Painful. I am going to teach you how to apply make up, deal with excessive hair, how to combat thinning hair, cover dark spots, but most importantly, I am going to encourage and empower you to fall in love with Y.O.U.
Image really is EV...ER...Y....THING, to women. We take pride in how we look and how we present ourselves to the world. Our looks play a major role in our careers, relationships, and self esteem. It has been proven that when we look good, we feel good and when we feel good we are more productive. If how we look was not important to us, cosmetic companies, hair distributors, and the fashion industry would collapse. With PCOS protecting and preserving our looks becomes a much more urgent task. Some of the physically visible symptoms of PCOS are: Weight gain(we will discuss this in another post), Hirsutism(excessive hair on face and body), thinning hair, and dark patches on skin. Unfortunately, I am no stranger to these PCOS related issues. I understand the blow that a woman's femininity takes when she has hair growing in places that are not normal for women, I know the embarrassment of having dark spots appearing on your face and neck and the painstaking effort put into hiding them. I know the utter humiliation and despair that comes when your hair begins to thin, break off, and stop growing. I completely understand the dip that a woman's self esteem takes when she has to deal with the effects of PCOS.
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